In truth, I *was* too much of a wimp to drink because my mum would inevitably find out. And that would be most upsetting. After a while I started drinking overnight at friends houses and caring less what my mum thought even when the evidence was clear.
Ah, the evidence. It manifested in unexpected ways. Like, walking to the door. My mum's front door is accessed by a long ramp and I insist on leaning on her to walk up it. The same was true when coming back from the pub in my late teens. They say alcohol affects people differently: people without Cerebral Palsy stumble around a bit, maybe zigzag, possibly fall. In people *with* Cerebral Palsy , a moderate alcohol intake releases some of the pesky disabling muscle tension. My mum knew I'd been drinking when I scaled the ramp with an overly confident stride. Basically, it is possible to have CP and be *better at walking* if only you'd just get drunk.
The (athetoid) CP comedian Josh Blue also notes this phenomenon. ["Josh, are you drunk? I heard your key in the door, you got it on the first try"]. But I saw it first, so there.
So, with alcohol apparently having healing properties, why am I such an occasional drinker now? It's not that I don't like the taste, that's a cop out, everyone can "like the taste" if they give it their full attention. I suppose the high sugar content of what I do drink, coupled with the booze, throws fuel on to the mood swing fire. Believe me, a sense of utter despair and the overwhelming need to sleep is genuinely off putting.
And then there's the drinking venues. Bright, confusing places with overlapping conversations and what I assume is the sound of Having A Good Time. I'm not suggesting all drinkers all have a good time every time they drink, it's just easier to believe that when you're the one wanting to go home and eat trifle alone. I probably sound cynical and negative right now. Correct. But it's mainly just bewilderment.
